I won't waste any more words on this.

Computers are stupid.

So if you're thinking about implementing some auto-correcting functionality in your new shiny feature-packed word processor… don't. Computers are stupid. I am smart. Compared to a computer, I am infinitely smart. That means computers can't automatically correct me. At least, not properly. Automatic corrections will be wrong in 90% of the cases.What you can do though, is hint at me that I've made a booboo, which I can then correct myself! Or I can tell the computer: "Right, I keep making that mistake! You can correct it for me from now on without asking me"

WordPress: Don't automatically change single or double ASCII quotes to Unicode characters unless I ask for it. Especially don't do it when I'm applying the 'literal' style to a piece of text. "Literal" literally means literal. Chances are that I want things I type to appear, well, literally. Programming code might make a good example. I don't think many languages yet understand unicode quotes yet.
Word/Open Office: Don't automatically convert everything I type into something else. If I type "1.", don't assume I want to make a list. I'm not a fucking retard. If I want a list, I'll select my text and bash the 'List' button in the toolbar. Don't automatically upper-case the letter of a new sentence for me. It's a computer, and computers are notoriously bad at lexical analysis or human languages. You see, in Dutch it is required to end an abbreviation with a period. So "i.e." is not the end of a sentence. Don't automatically convert anything for me, please. Please!

Software engineers, at the very least make sure that when I undo one of your automatic conversions, and start typing again not to apply the same automatic correction again! Some simple user-experience testing should have picked up on that.

Honestly, I think mankind was more productive when it was still carving shit on rock faces in caves then it is today with computers. Cavemen inventing fire and wheels and whatnot. People with computers, what do they invent? Shit to solve problems that wouldn't have existed without computers in the first place, that's what. But hey, at least we're leveraging business synergy, right?

<?php

if ($variable != 0) {
  print('aa');
} else {
  print('bb');
}

?>

Let's apply the rules of logic here. $variable is unset, so it is not '0'. Therefor it should print 'aa'.

Wrong.

Let's apply the rules of PHP here. PHP will BLACK BOX MAGIC VOODOO and from that it naturally follows that PHP will print 'bb':

[todsah@host]~$ php ./magic_voodoo.php

Notice: Undefined variable: variable in /home/todsah/magic_voodoo.php on line 3
bb

And that, dear PHP developers, is why warnings and notices in PHP should be removed in favour of errors. At. All. Times. I hate PHP.

Also, I can't use my external monitor without running this script:

xrandr --newmode "1680x1050_60.00"  147.14  1680 1784 1968 2256  1050 1051 1054 1087  -HSync +Vsync
xrandr --addmode VGA 1680x1050_60.00
xrandr --output VGA --mode 1680x1050_60.00

Pretty annoying. The Display configuration in Ubuntu (System -> Preferences -> Display) also doesn't list my external monitor's native resolution, even when I boot up my laptop with the external screen attached and set as the main display (by pressing the 'Switch to external monitor' button-thingamajiggy on my laptop). Probably a BIOS issue, but it would be nice if it would simply let me add a new mode by entering a resolution.

Hopefully 2010 will be the year of Linux on the desktop. 2009 sure ain't.

Firefox. The activation area of its close button on tabs is only 14 by 14 pixels:

Chomium's is even smaller! 12 by 12 pixels! Do I look like a mouse-ninja to you?

Internet Explorer 8 only does it ever so slightly better with its 17 by 16 pixel buttons:

I'd understand it if there wasn't enough space available, but look at the screenshots above! Plenty of space left to make the button bigger. Just a couple of pixels can make such a difference! It could have been like this instead:

That's a whopping 24 by 23 pixels, without the rest of the tab having to give up any space to the button at all! You can even hide most of it if the mouse isn't near it, if you really care about aesthetics and such. In fact, Firefox's finder bar (that's the same application boys and girls!) does it a lot better with 21 by 20 pixels:

If they can do it in the finder bar, they can do it in the tabs, I say, darnit.  And here I was thinking Microsoft, and even Mozilla Foundation if my old alcohol-wornout brain remembers correctly, had all kinds of usability experts on their payroll? Guess this slipped through the cracks. Or maybe it was crack that inspired this shit in the first place, who knows.

I always generate passwords which are rahter lenghty; say about 12 characters. Okay, how did this tool work again (I don't use it that often):

[todsah@jib]~$ pwgen --help
Usage: pwgen [ OPTIONS ] [ pw_length ] [ num_pw ]

Right, okay! Here we go! Let's generate five passwords with a length of twelve characters each (the -1 option is so it only prints one password per line):

[todsah@jib]~$ pwgen -1 12 5
she4gauY'i
xox0zahGh'
Jo1aikie"d
Uz3oudai-l
uGh1aij}ee
eecha`f8Hu
Ai-x4oigh2
heoz7puCh(
ahK9Il"eyi
eNae7zae:G
ox\ix0Eer"
eing1caeH\

Uh.. that's twelve passwords. And those aren't twelve characters long, those are ten. Did I not read it right? Should the length of the passwords and the number of passwords to generate be reversed? Let's try again:

todsah@jib]~$ pwgen -1 5 12
soop7li^X"
koHoo[qu2k
Bah#sh0phe
ooX0al{o8T
Uh6yaf+eiP

Ah, now it only prints five passwords, but they're still only ten characters in length. Damnit! There apparently is only one parameter. Perhaps there's an switch to specify the length then?

[todsah@jib]~$ pwgen --help
Usage: pwgen [ OPTIONS ] [ pw_length ] [ num_pw ]

Options supported by pwgen:
  -c or --capitalize
	Include at least one capital letter in the password
  -A or --no-capitalize
	Don't include capital letters in the password
  -n or --numerals
	Include at least one number in the password
  -0 or --no-numerals
	Don't include numbers in the password
  -y or --symbols
	Include at least one special symbol in the password
  -s or --secure
	Generate completely random passwords
  -B or --ambiguous
	Don't include ambiguous characters in the password
  -h or --help
	Print a help message
  -H or --sha1=path/to/file[#seed]
	Use sha1 hash of given file as a (not so) random generator
  -C
	Print the generated passwords in columns
  -1
	Don't print the generated passwords in columns
  -v or --no-vowels
	Do not use any vowels so as to avoid accidental nasty words

Soooooo, no, no switch to specify the length. There is, however a rather redundant -C option to turn on behaviour which is already turned on by default! That should come in handy. Not. Guess it's not just GNU that likes redundant options. Alright then, mofo's. I'll check the manual page.

       -N, --num-passwords=num
              Generate num passwords.  This defaults to a screenful if
              passwords are printed by columns, and one password.

So.. there's an extra switch -N to specify [ num_pw ] (which already works), but there is no extra switch to specify [ pw_length ] (which doesn't work)? Fuck ME!

Screw it, I'll just go back to ye olde reliable way of generating secure passwords

*bashes his keyboard a couple of times* FUCK pronounceable passwords. Fuck 'm.

If anybody is interested in writing a useful plugin for Firefox, please, pretty please, pretty please with sugar on top… write an extension that can log me out of HTTP basic authentication.

And here's what it might look like after having resized my screen:

The shuffling order appears to be random, which is quite frustrating if you've been listening to music on your headphones, and then hook your laptop up to the sound system and it starts playing music at a volume of fifteen million decibels and your muscle memory is all confused because where there used to be a volume control on the panel there is now a network manager thingy.

I've tried all possible combinations of widget placement and 'Lock to panel' toggles, all to no avail. It keeps randomly shuffling shit. The worst thing is that this has been a problem since I first started using Gnome on a laptop – umpteenthousand years ago.